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	<title>online work, technology and life &#187; conflict</title>
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	<link>http://www.riza.com/vt</link>
	<description>notes on working online, virtual teams, online communities, social design and whatever else takes my fancy</description>
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		<title>Presidential collaboration no-no</title>
		<link>http://www.riza.com/vt/2010/03/05/presidential-collaboration-no-no/</link>
		<comments>http://www.riza.com/vt/2010/03/05/presidential-collaboration-no-no/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Fri, 05 Mar 2010 13:02:34 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>jen</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[collaboration]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[conflict]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://www.riza.com/vt/?p=186</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[HBR published this article &#8211; Obama&#8217;s Five Collaboration Mistakes. It seems the mistakes he&#8217;s made are He may talk about collaboration &#038; use all the right language but his team doesn&#8217;t (thus sending mixed messages) He delegated to others, not collaborated with others Not all parties felt like they had been heard There need to [...]]]></description>
			<content:encoded><![CDATA[<p>HBR published this article &#8211;  <a href="http://blogs.hbr.org/cs/2010/02/five_collaboration_mistakes.html">Obama&#8217;s Five Collaboration Mistakes</a>.  </p>
<p>It seems the mistakes he&#8217;s made are
<ul>
<li>He may talk about collaboration &#038; use all the right language but his team doesn&#8217;t (thus sending mixed messages)
</li>
<li>He delegated <strong>to</strong> others, not collaborated <strong>with</strong> others</li>
<li>Not all parties felt like they had been heard</li>
<li>There need to be compromises (you can&#8217;t win them all)</li>
<li>Lack of a compelling overall goal </li>
</ul>
<p>I don&#8217;t know know if I agree with those in regards to what Obama is doing or has done but they are good things to keep in mind when you&#8217;re trying to bring people together. </p>
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		<title>special issue: The International Journal of Conflict Management</title>
		<link>http://www.riza.com/vt/2006/08/31/special-issue-the-international-journal-of-conflict-management/</link>
		<comments>http://www.riza.com/vt/2006/08/31/special-issue-the-international-journal-of-conflict-management/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Thu, 31 Aug 2006 11:57:35 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>jen</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[call for papers]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[conflict]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://www.riza.com/vt/?p=131</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[Focus Topic: International and Cross-Cultural Conflict Management Recognizing the need to include more research from outside the U.S. and non-western cultures, this special issue explores conflict management in organizations in international and cross-cultural settings. Examples of topics that would be appropriate for this special issue are: How does national culture influence conflict management and conflict [...]]]></description>
			<content:encoded><![CDATA[<p>Focus Topic: International and Cross-Cultural Conflict Management</p>
<p>Recognizing the need to include more research from outside the U.S. and non-western cultures, this special issue explores conflict management in organizations in international and cross-cultural settings.  </p>
<p>Examples of topics that would be appropriate for this special issue are: How does national culture influence conflict management and conflict resolution processes and outcomes?  Are there different conflict styles used in different countries?  Do countries outside the U.S. have unique ways of handling conflict?  Are the outcomes of conflict different in different cultures.  How is conflict perceived in different cultures.  Are there different causes and outcomes of conflict in different countries?  Are there alternative perceptions or conceptualizations of conflict in different cultures that either exacerbate or mitigate conflict?  How does language influence conflict?</p>
<p>These examples provide illustrations of the types of international and cross-cultural conflict studies that would be appropriate.  However, researchers are encouraged to submit manuscripts using innovative theories or methods that advance our understanding of conflict from global or international perspectives.</p>
<p>This call for papers is aimed at a wide array of scholars&#8211;from different disciplines such as management, communications, psychology, sociology, economics, public administration, and law.</p>
<p>Studies using a variety of methodological techniques are encouraged including (but not limited to): laboratory studies, field studies, case studies, survey research, and analysis of archival data. Articles focused solely on theory development are also welcome as are papers that present novel approaches to conflict management in the context of organizations in international settings.</p>
<p>Manuscripts should focus on the following criteria:</p>
<p>Use clear exposition, be technically adequate, make a theoretical contribution (e.g., testing, creating, or extending theory), make an empirical contribution, be innovative, interesting, &#038; novel, and have potential implications for practice<br />
â€“ Length: generally no longer than 35 pages (including everything: tables, references, figures, etc.)<br />
â€“ Double-spaced with 1 inch margins, 12-point Times New Roman font.<br />
â€“ Following APA (5th ed.) format.<br />
All papers will be blind reviewed.</p>
<p>Inquires and manuscripts should be submitted in electronic form by October 1, 2006 to:  Richard A. Posthuma, rposthuma@utep.edu</p>
]]></content:encoded>
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		<title>intl academy of mgmt &amp; biz conf</title>
		<link>http://www.riza.com/vt/2006/08/07/intl-academy-of-mgmt-biz-conf/</link>
		<comments>http://www.riza.com/vt/2006/08/07/intl-academy-of-mgmt-biz-conf/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Mon, 07 Aug 2006 04:54:51 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>jen</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[call for papers]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[conflict]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://www.riza.com/vt/?p=124</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[IAMB 2007 CONFERENCE &#8211; The Gold Coast Hotel, Las Vegas January 28- 31, 2007 Deadline First Submission: September 17, 2006 Theme: Gearing for the Globalization Era The International Academy of Management and Business (IAMB) are inviting scholars and practitioners to submit papers, symposia, and posters for presentation. Papers are solicited in management and business-related areas [...]]]></description>
			<content:encoded><![CDATA[<p>IAMB 2007 CONFERENCE &#8211;  The Gold Coast Hotel, Las Vegas<br />
January 28- 31, 2007<br />
Deadline <a href="https://www.iamb.net/lasvegas/2007/onlinesubmission.html">First Submission</a>: September 17, 2006</p>
<p>Theme: Gearing for the Globalization Era</p>
<p>The International Academy of Management and Business (<a href="http://www.iamb.net/">IAMB</a>) are inviting<br />
scholars and practitioners to submit papers, symposia, and posters for<br />
presentation. Papers are solicited in management and business-related areas<br />
such as: Organizational Behavior and Change; Conflicts and Negotiations;<br />
Human Resource Management; Technology Management; Innovation and Technology;<br />
Public Administration; Business Policy; Marketing Management; Financial<br />
Management; Operations Research; International Business; Cross Cultural<br />
Management; and Management Education and Training.</p>
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		<title>negotiation &amp; conflict mgmt rsh</title>
		<link>http://www.riza.com/vt/2006/07/19/negotiation-conflict-mgmt-rsh/</link>
		<comments>http://www.riza.com/vt/2006/07/19/negotiation-conflict-mgmt-rsh/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Wed, 19 Jul 2006 02:07:47 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>jen</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[call for papers]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[conflict]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://www.riza.com/vt/?p=116</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[Negotiations and Conflict Management Research (NCMR) is the official journal of the International Association for Conflict Management. NCMR publishes fundamental research that focuses on theory and research on conflict and conflict management across levels, including organizational conflict, interpersonal conflict and inter-group conflict, and across a range of domains including environmental conflict, crisis negotiations, political conflict [...]]]></description>
			<content:encoded><![CDATA[<p>Negotiations and Conflict Management Research (NCMR) is the official<br />
journal of the International Association for Conflict Management. NCMR<br />
publishes fundamental research that focuses on theory and research on<br />
conflict and conflict management across levels, including organizational<br />
conflict, interpersonal conflict and inter-group conflict, and across a<br />
range of domains including environmental conflict, crisis negotiations,<br />
political conflict and cross-cultural conflict, as well as formal and<br />
informal third party intervention, including mediation and arbitration.<br />
The journal welcomes both full-length theory and empirical manuscripts, as<br />
well as shorter â€œresearch notesâ€ appropriate for single study empirical<br />
papers.  Diverse methods and approaches are also welcome.  More<br />
specifically, we seek to publish papers that:<br />
(1) initiate, extend, validate or redirect a line of inquiry;<br />
(2) provide a theoretically driven review and integration of an important<br />
research area;<br />
(3) draw upon and integrate perspectives from multiple disciplines;<br />
(4) provide new empirical findings;<br />
(5) make theoretical contributions;<br />
(6) employ diverse methods;<br />
In addition, NCMR seeks to provide high quality and timely feedback to<br />
scholars, and provide scholars with individualized mentoring through our<br />
mentoring program, where early career scholars can be mentored and receive<br />
feedback on their manuscripts prior to submitting their work for review.<br />
In addition, we seek to reward scholarship with our annual â€œBest Paperâ€<br />
award.<br />
For additional information, please see the journal webpage at <a href="http://www.iacm-conflict.org/ncmr/ ">http://www.iacm-conflict.org/ncmr/ </a></p>
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		<title>int&#8217;l journal of conflict mgmt: special issue on workplace conflict</title>
		<link>http://www.riza.com/vt/2006/07/19/intl-journal-of-conflict-mgmt-special-issue-on-workplace-conflict/</link>
		<comments>http://www.riza.com/vt/2006/07/19/intl-journal-of-conflict-mgmt-special-issue-on-workplace-conflict/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Wed, 19 Jul 2006 01:33:23 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>jen</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[call for papers]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[conflict]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://www.riza.com/vt/?p=115</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[the international journal of conflict management special issue on: Alternative Dispute Resolution of Workplace Conflicts Conflicts between employers and employees can take on a variety of forms including lawsuits, informal complaints, grievances, strikes, picketing, etc. In this special issue we explore the many alternative ways that these conflicts can be resolved. These alternative dispute resolution [...]]]></description>
			<content:encoded><![CDATA[<p><a href="http://members.aol.com/mgt2000/ijcm.htm">the international journal of conflict management</a> special issue on: Alternative Dispute Resolution of Workplace Conflicts </p>
<p>Conflicts between employers and employees can take on a variety of forms including lawsuits, informal complaints, grievances, strikes, picketing, etc.  In this special issue we explore the many alternative ways that these conflicts can be resolved. These alternative dispute resolution (ADR) procedures may include negotiation, mediation, arbitration, fact-finding, ombudspersons, peer review, and many other combinations or permutations of thereof. This is a broad area and many different perspectives on this issue are welcome.</p>
<p>Important questions that could be addressed include the following:  How do participants perceive the effectiveness and/or fairness of ADR systems?  How does the use of ADR systems affect the outcomes for employers and employees?  What are the contextual factors that explain the adoption of use of these systems?  How do ADR systems differ across countries or cultures?  Are alternative forms of dispute resolution systems fair at the micro or macro level of analysis? How do justice concepts relate to ADR systems in terms of predicting important outcomes for organizations (e.g., turnover, legal claiming, grievances, recommendation intentions, productive and counterproductive behaviors). What are the legal constraints and implications of the use of these systems? What theories (e.g., neo-institutionalism, cognitive choice, transaction cost economics) can be advanced through the study of these systems?</p>
<p>However, these are only examples of the types of questions that could be addressed. Other topics related to the general topic of ADR in organizations are also welcome.</p>
<p>This call for papers is aimed at a wide array of scholars&#8211;from different disciplines such as management, communications, psychology, sociology, economics, public administration, and law.</p>
<p>Studies using a variety of methodological techniques are encouraged including (but not limited to): laboratory studies, field studies, case studies, survey research, and analysis of archival data. Articles focused solely on theory development are also welcomed as are papers that present novel approaches to ADR systems in organizations in either domestic or international settings.  Furthermore, studies that review the law of ADR systems are also encouraged.</p>
<p>Manuscripts should focus on the following criteria:<br />
â€“ Use clear exposition<br />
â€“ Be technically adequate<br />
â€“ Make a theoretical contribution (e.g., testing, creating or extending theory)<br />
â€“ Make an empirical contribution<br />
â€“ Be innovative, interesting, &#038; novel<br />
â€“ Have potential implications for practice</p>
<p>Format<br />
â€“ Length: generally no longer than 35 pages (including everything: tables, references, figures, etc.)<br />
â€“ Double-spaced with 1 inch margins, 12-point Times New Roman font.<br />
â€“ Follow APA (5th ed.) format.</p>
<p>All papers will be blind reviewed. Manuscripts should be submitted in electronic form by November 1, 2006 to:  Richard A. Posthuma, rposthuma@utep.edu  </p>
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			<wfw:commentRss>http://www.riza.com/vt/2006/07/19/intl-journal-of-conflict-mgmt-special-issue-on-workplace-conflict/feed/</wfw:commentRss>
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		<title>myers briggs &amp; conflict</title>
		<link>http://www.riza.com/vt/2006/07/11/myers-briggs-conflict/</link>
		<comments>http://www.riza.com/vt/2006/07/11/myers-briggs-conflict/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Mon, 10 Jul 2006 14:06:21 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>jen</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[conflict]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[f2f teams]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[virtual teams]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://www.riza.com/vt/?p=109</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[mediate.com has an article up about using myers-briggs in assessing conflict. the article is based on the work of damien killen and danica murphy who have written a booklet entitled &#8216;introduction to type and conflict&#8217;. like everything with myers-briggs, the idea is to use the information as a tool to help understand others. i can&#8217;t [...]]]></description>
			<content:encoded><![CDATA[<p><a href="http://www.mediate.com/articles/eilermanD3.cfm">mediate.com</a> has an article up about using myers-briggs in assessing conflict.   the article is based on the work of damien killen and danica murphy who have written a booklet entitled <a href="http://www.capt.org/catalog/MBTI-Book-30054.htm">&#8216;introduction to type and conflict&#8217;</a>. </p>
<p>like everything with myers-briggs, the idea is to use the information as a tool to help understand others.   i can&#8217;t find any information about the research they did except for this article and links to buy the booklet. </p>
<p>their work indicates the greatest area for conflict is between the thinking-feeling and judging-perceiving types. (aka the &#8216;conflict pairs&#8217;).   the thinking type will want to fix the problem, is concerned with facts &#038; maintains a firm position while the feeling type is concerned about the impact of the problem on other&#8217;s feelings &#038; thoughts, ensuring there is give &#038; take, accepting differences and needs &#038; values.   perceivers do not like to make quick decisions and want flexibility while judging people want to come to conclusion, focus on present &#038; future and experience satisfaction when the conflict is over.  </p>
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		<item>
		<title>conflict resolution skill kit</title>
		<link>http://www.riza.com/vt/2006/07/08/conflict-resolution-skill-kit/</link>
		<comments>http://www.riza.com/vt/2006/07/08/conflict-resolution-skill-kit/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Sat, 08 Jul 2006 04:55:14 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>jen</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[conflict]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://www.riza.com/vt/?p=112</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[the conflict resolution network has a free conflict resolution kit on their website. the kit contains 12 pages about win-win, mediation, managing emotions, etc. and has a checklist which pulls together the ideas of the 12 pages which would be great to use to work thru a conflict. really great stuff written so anyone can [...]]]></description>
			<content:encoded><![CDATA[<p>the <a href="http://www.crnhq.org">conflict resolution network</a> has a <a href="http://www.crnhq.org/freecrkit.html">free conflict resolution kit</a> on their website. </p>
<p>the kit contains 12 pages about win-win, mediation, managing emotions, etc.  and has a <a href="http://www.crnhq.org/freechecklist.html">checklist</a> which pulls together the ideas of the 12 pages which would be great to use to work thru a conflict. </p>
<p>really great stuff written so anyone can understand.  i wish they offered it as a 13 page PDF to download as well as the web pages.  </p>
<p>the organisation also has their full training manual online to download for free (and that is in PDF). </p>
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		<title>everyone needs a hug</title>
		<link>http://www.riza.com/vt/2006/05/19/everyone-needs-a-hug/</link>
		<comments>http://www.riza.com/vt/2006/05/19/everyone-needs-a-hug/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Thu, 18 May 2006 14:04:33 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>jen</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[conflict]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[technology]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://www.riza.com/vt/?p=86</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[flames happen. but can putting &#8216;everyone needs a hug&#8217; into the comments field, reduce the amount of flames? seems it can. particletree did so &#038; claims their rate of flaming has decreased.]]></description>
			<content:encoded><![CDATA[<p>flames happen. but can putting &#8216;everyone needs a hug&#8217; into the comments field, reduce the amount of flames?  <a href="http://credibility.stanford.edu/captology/notebook/archives.new/2006/01/a_small_phrase.html">seems it can</a>.   <a href="http://www.particletree.com/">particletree</a> did so &#038; claims their rate of flaming has decreased. </p>
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		<title>having flow in your life</title>
		<link>http://www.riza.com/vt/2006/02/09/finding-flow/</link>
		<comments>http://www.riza.com/vt/2006/02/09/finding-flow/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Thu, 09 Feb 2006 00:51:25 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>jen</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[about me]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[books]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[communication]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[conflict]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[mobility]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[us/au]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://www.riza.com/vt/?p=46</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[i&#8217;ve read 2 flow books now, first the good business one, then finding flow: the psychology of engagement with everyday life which is the reverse to the published timeline (2003 and 1997). flow is the concept of enjoying what you do and thus getting lost in it. that sense or feeling that everything is right [...]]]></description>
			<content:encoded><![CDATA[<p>i&#8217;ve read 2 flow books now, first the <em>good business</em> one, then <em>finding flow: the psychology of engagement with everyday life</em> which is the reverse to the published timeline (2003 and 1997). </p>
<p>flow is the concept of enjoying what you do and thus getting lost in it.  that sense or feeling that everything is right in the world and you can experience flow in any aspect of your life. </p>
<p>IMO, <em>finding flow</em> wasn&#8217;t as interesting or detailed as <em>good business</em>.  it&#8217;s a smaller book and hence a quicker read but if you want a better understanding of flow, read  <em>good business</em>.  it concentrates more on the idea of &#8216;happiness&#8217; and ways you can create flow for your product, business, employees and self. </p>
<p>there was one bit of research mentioned in the <em>finding flow</em> book which drew my attention.   a 1984 study by csikszentmihalyi and larson showed friendships &#8216;offer both the most emotionally rewarding contexts in the immediate present, and the greatest opportunities for developing one&#8217;s potential in the long run&#8217;.  the authors then say &#8216;contemporary life, however, is not very suitable for sustaining friendships&#8217; because of americans &#8216;geographical and social mobility&#8217; and how we &#8216;reshuffle&#8217; friendships based on our situation.  for example, as we move from job to job or city to city or university to university, we change our friends.   they state &#8216;lack of true friends is often the main complaint of people confronting an emotional crisis in the second half of life&#8217;. </p>
<p>i&#8217;m definitely a &#8216;shuffler&#8217; in this is sense.  i switch jobs, i have multiple degrees, i&#8217;ve moved cities and countries, meet people while traveling and develop friendships online.  i have never thought of this as a problem (except i would love some better friend management technologies) and in fact, think this has greatly enriched my life.  </p>
<p>this contrasts to what i have experienced in australia.  here people have a circle of friends who have they made when they were quite young (elementary/jr high level) and they continue that friendship forever (ok, maybe not forever but you get the idea).   australians travel a lot but they don&#8217;t seem to be as mobile in other ways.   my impression is people stay in the same job longer.   they don&#8217;t go away to university but attend uni in the same place (or nearby) to where they grew up.   quite often they will go overseas for their working holiday but afterwards they come back to the same circle of friends and live in the same area. </p>
<p>it would be very interesting to see some research comparing flow or at least satisfaction of friendship/life using these differences in american/australian culture.  </p>
<p>also, there was one bit in <em>good business</em> that i take exception to.   </p>
<p><em>&#8216;In a large organisation it is frequently difficult for a leader to have an accurate sense of the companyâ€™s affairs because reports are often afraid to be candid about problems.  The head of a large multinational corporation employs the following strategy to keep the lines of communication and feedback open:&#8217;</em></p>
<p>i agree with this statement but i had to read the following quote a couple times to make sure i was really reading this correctly.   remember, this is a quote to illustrate how to keep feedback and communication open in a large organisation. </p>
<p><em>Two weeks ago, I spent one entire week â€“ five days â€“ travelling to seven different cities and having meetings with employees.  I talked to two to three hundred employees twice a day â€“ different employees â€“ for maybe an hour, giving them my views and then leaving an hour and half for them to ask me any questions they had.  Thatâ€™s how you keep your finger on the pulse.<br />
â€¦ Iâ€™ve got to get out there and be with customers and be with employees and be in the field and watch what goes on and provide motivation.  Last week I was in asia all week.  The same thing.  I was visiting our staff, visiting out plants, showing an interest in what theyâ€™re doing.  Thatâ€™s how you do it.  You donâ€™t do it sitting here. </em></p>
<p>i think, perhaps, this person has their heart in the right place.  you do need to talk to your staff and show an interest in what they&#8217;re doing.  what struck me as odd was the way this person went about doing it. </p>
<p>now math has never been my strong suit but if you spend 5 days in 7 cities, that&#8217;s less than a day per city.  <img src='http://www.riza.com/vt/wp-includes/images/smilies/icon_smile.gif' alt=':)' class='wp-smiley' />    if you are talking to 200-300 employees twice a day (so 400-600 a day),  that would equate to a minute per employee (10 hour day, 60 minutes per hour is 600 minutes).   obviously this isn&#8217;t what was happening &#8230; they were in a group setting&#8230; but it&#8217;s interesting to look at the numbers this way.   the person says they left 90 minutes per group to let the group ask questions of (after an hour of their presentation).   again, obviously not what was happening but interesting to look at the numbers &#8230; 90 minutes divided by 200 people leaves everyone 45 seconds.  300 people get 30 seconds each &#8211;  not including the leader&#8217;s reply.</p>
<p>while the leader in this quote was hoping for feedback and open communication, i doubt they were receiving much of it.  IMO there needs to be more personalised communication to encourage the honest, open communication leaders would hope to have with employees.   somehow i doubt these 200-300 person forums brought out in the open any issues and created the message that the company/leader was really concerned with problems/issues.</p>
<p>and that (to use an aussie phrase) gives me the shits.  <img src='http://www.riza.com/vt/wp-includes/images/smilies/icon_smile.gif' alt=':)' class='wp-smiley' /> </p>
<p><iframe src="http://rcm.amazon.com/e/cm?t=thebrautiganpage&#038;o=1&#038;p=8&#038;l=as1&#038;asins=0465024114&#038;IS1=1&#038;fc1=000000&#038;lt1=_blank&#038;lc1=0000ff&#038;bc1=ffffff&#038;bg1=ffffff&#038;f=ifr" style="width:120px;height:240px;" scrolling="no" marginwidth="0" marginheight="0" frameborder="0"></iframe>  <iframe src="http://rcm.amazon.com/e/cm?t=thebrautiganpage&#038;o=1&#038;p=8&#038;l=as1&#038;asins=014200409X&#038;IS1=1&#038;fc1=000000&#038;lt1=_blank&#038;lc1=0000ff&#038;bc1=ffffff&#038;bg1=ffffff&#038;f=ifr" style="width:120px;height:240px;" scrolling="no" marginwidth="0" marginheight="0" frameborder="0"></iframe> </p>
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		<title>mediation article</title>
		<link>http://www.riza.com/vt/2006/01/14/mediation-article/</link>
		<comments>http://www.riza.com/vt/2006/01/14/mediation-article/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Sat, 14 Jan 2006 13:21:27 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>jen</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[conflict]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[links]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://www.riza.com/vt/?p=38</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[there&#8217;s an intersting article about mediation here. any conflict is an &#8216;unmet need&#8217; and it as mediators we need to look at our own unmet needs in order to help others. the article is really just a teaser, not filled with detail. it did lead me to another article on the same site about a [...]]]></description>
			<content:encoded><![CDATA[<p>there&#8217;s an intersting article about mediation <a href="http://www.mediate.com/articles/moscowitzJS1.cfm">here</a>.  any conflict is an &#8216;unmet need&#8217; and it as mediators we need to look at our own unmet needs in order to help others.   the article is really just a teaser, not filled with detail.   it did lead me to <a href="http://mediate.com/articles/bells1.cfm">another article</a> on the same site about a self-inquiry process called the &#8216;work&#8217; by <a href="http://www.thework.com/index.asp">byron katie</a>.  the process consists of 4 inquiry questions to be used when any thought or belief causes pain.  </p>
<p>the first two questions are:  Is it true? Can you absolutely know that it is true?</p>
<p>the mediator expects to get a yes to the first question and a no to the second question.   how can we every absolutely know when something is true.   the idea is to put some cracks into the story &#038; truth you&#8217;ve been believing and arguing for. </p>
<p>question 3 is: How do you react when you think that thought?<br />
the thought being your side of the story in the conflict.  you&#8217;re really getting to the impact your side of the conflict has on you.  </p>
<p>and question 4: Who would you be without the thought?<br />
if you didn&#8217;t feel this way, or keep going with the same story w/in this conflict, how would it change your life?  </p>
<p>and you can also work on  &#8216;turning around&#8217; the original statement from something like &#8216;she&#8217;s not nice to me&#8217; to &#8216;why should she be nice to me&#8217; or &#8216;i should be nice to her&#8217; as ways to think creatively and differently about the conflict. </p>
<p>there&#8217;s an example in the mediate article  and lots more ways to elaborate on those 4 questions is <a href="http://www.thework.com/FourQuestions.asp">on katie bryon&#8217;s site</a>.</p>
<p>i had some conflict this afternoon so i think i&#8217;ll give this a go with that issue. </p>
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